Mourn

Actually I'm still mourning over Jacko's death. It's too sudden. Well, I'm still following his news since that day. I think he did not even expect he'll leave so soon. There's some pictures of him rehearsing 48 hours ago before his death and what would have been the Greatest Comeback ever.

Some of you might never even watch how he danced before. Trust me, spend some of your time and watch the below video. Then you'll know why he deserved to be crowned "King of Pop".

*my sister did not get chosen for NS! Damn . . . :p

New kits

In the premier league, each team will have to launch a new kit once in every 2 years. The time has come and this is the time where we as fans can actually comment on our own team or laugh at others'. This year, I have to say that Chelsea home kit is one of the not-very-good looking kit in the history ever.

The players have breast now. Look at the plate in front of the chest. Oh dear. What have Adidas done to the team? But look at the bright side, they do look like warriors.


Home kit sucks. But not quite with the away kit. Just saw it over the website. I'll consider myself buying it. It somehow look quite ok.



Just when I'm about to make the decision, I saw the leaked away jersey. It should look like this, white with stripes. If it is so, I'll get this instead of the previous one. LOL.

Chelsea is off to L.A. again! Play against Inter and AC Milan along with Club America. Damn. The timing is so out. If I were in the US, I'd be going for sure.

A music legend

He was one of the finest artists ever. With his unique music, dance moves, and the forever cool-looking costumes, he was a legend. A true icon for the music world. Because of him, I believed that there was what you call a great music.

Even though I don't consider myself as a huge fan, but I dare to admit that I grow up with his music. I'm still a fan of his but not those crazy ones. For those that never listens to him, or even watch his moves, you should go youtube or google around instead. I remembered myself as a kid, playing his songs and concerts of what we called back then as VHS - video tape - in the tv, damn, he gave me goosebumps. The gloves, moonwalk, glasses, with the glittering costumes and some cool moves along his unique yet explodable voice, you'll be screaming. And now I know why the fans were crying over him shows after shows, because he was great.

Before Justin Timberlake, there was already him. And before the Backstreet Boys, he was already rocking the world. No one yet still break his records for hitting over 100 million of copies album sold in 1982, and he has sold more than 750 million record worldwide.

Just less than a month and he would be having what you call the century concert. But, it's unfortunately for all the fans to miss out his great comeback. He will be remembered as a true music legend for what the impact he has made in his 50 years of life. Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.

I shall play this song for all those who visited my blog and I hope you can have a click and listen to the song entitled "You are not alone" by Michael Jackson.

My heart was actually aching and I was shocked that he passed away. It was still early when my mum told me. Well, at least he achieved some great things in his life. It's a sad day to lose a great singer like him. :(


You're the "King of Pop" in all of our hearts.

Trying hard

I've been trying so hard to get myself into studies these days..

I've been enjoying my life too much lately..

All the dvds, online hours..

But it doesn't really matter anymore.. All I wanna do is just let everything flows.. Sounds like a Daoist.. "We shall not interfere with the nature and we shall let it flows like water".. Haha.. At least I learned something in my REL200 class..

Well, we wouldn't know what would happen ahead of us.. If it is so, just let it be.. My own philosophy tells me that, "No worries about H1N1.. Because if your time is up, it's up.. You might just walk out and someone knocks you down or the bridge falls on you.. "

Anyway, I forgot to mention KahWei's name in the previous post. Thanks for being the one who supports us from the back.. Without you, there would be no beginning and ending as well.. HAHAHA.. Because KahWei edited the starting and the ending part..

2

There's just 2 things in my mind besides studying. First, a good one, we've completed the production of our MPW2133 assignment entitled The Origin Story: Malacca. We even created a poster and a movie trailer as well. Kudos to Fangkai who helps to finish this cake with an extraordinary tasty icing on it. I have to take credit for myself as well. I'm the Audio Manager for this entire project. Well, sort of. HAHAHA.

and I watched Goal3 today. A big disappointment seriously. I've been waiting this movie for like what? 3 years? And all I have is just a bunch of silly drama. Damn. But I'm a little addicted to this new vampire love series that I've got myself: TrueBlood.

My trainer said to me the other day, you have to enjoy and go everywhere at this age. True. Do everything that makes me happy because I know that at least 3 more years later, I would not have much time for this word called "Fun". All I have to do is to maintain a certain acceptable grades, while having fun by watching movies, playing games and cherish every moments that I have with all my love ones.

MPW2133

I know I shouldn't be blogging right now. But, I've got to express my feelings. I've got to say a million thank you to those that help us through our entire MPW assignment. Without you guys, we would not have done by now.

I'm so satisfied right now. And proud of what we did throughout the assignment. Few hours of shooting, and few hours of hardcore-non stopping editing, it is finally done. Even though it's just the 3 of us (Me, Fangkai and Kahwei) in the group, but it was you guys that help us voluntarily make this happens. I hope that our video would be selected for the exhibition week and by then, all of us will have a chance to watch the premier! The title is as weird as the video but that's the point isn't it? To make it weird, and fun!

THE ORIGIN STORY: MALACCA

All the sweats that we had. It is worth it. You bet. I can't wait to share the "success" with all of you guys! Really hope this video can get us some good grades! It's a bloody 30% worth of assignment.

The internet connection has been real slow today. I've been trying so long to log into my cramster account but it is still not working. Sadly the highest speed that my internet could go is only 55kb/s. That's how slow it is. One of my friends who came back from US for summer course told me that the internet connection in US is around 700kb/s. Can't imagine how fast it is? Well, try to take the example of downloading a song. In Malaysia, we actually try to wait for a few seconds for the songs to be downloaded finish (and we think it's already quite fast). But in the US, you double click the song and it is done. It's even faster than loading a web page. LOL.

What is the greatest human invention? For me, it's Coca-cola!!

Universities application

These 2 weeks I'm gonna work on my application already. Too little time for too many things to be done, just as usual!! I have chapters of Philosophy to be read. And my Malaysian Studies video assignment along with the textbook (for upcoming midterm).

A big SIGH.

And I just found out that the fees have increased for OU! From 26k to 34k per year. Still thinking whether to go there. Because Michigan Tech offers USD1.5k per year for students grade 3.0 and above. Which means I'll get USD3k scholarship for 2 years. Better than nothing. USD3k = RM10.5K.

20 more weeks and we shall see each other no more in classes already. It's just down to 20 weeks and our lives will change forever! Some will still be friends, seeing each other, staying with each other in the same dorm. For me, it's not quite the same I guess.

Finally

I know how does a nissan fairlady looks like. But too bad I don't know which BoonHan is referring to. haha. My knowledge about car is very shallow indeed.

is this the one?? lol

Anyway, I can't wait for the pc fair. And get myself a super laptop. Oh ya, BoonHan got a blog. hahaha...

Everyday is a new day

And when every time you open up your eyes, still breathing, you got to be grateful. I have been quite depressed lately. Along with some stress. And tired. Tired of assignments, studies, life. But when it comes to Sunday, I'll feel relax and never stop expecting something from God.

My week has been tough. I tried not to think too much about it. I've been searching for answers. Looking for solutions. Finding the peace. And when I expected something, I always get it. Always. (in terms of religion, not studies)

It isn't by chance when the scriptures in the Bible is shown or read to you. That's one of the way of God who answers prayers. I reached early in church. A bit moody. And tired (thanks to BoonHan for a one day trip, from Subang-> Fangkai's house Bandar Utama-> Kemuning Old Town with Thingyan-> Subang-> Klang with Chew&Ryan-> Sunway-> home 130am).

"Psalms 121


¹ I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. "

That's what God has for me today. I highlighted those words in red because that's what I see. My answer. My solution. Tears ran down once. It's awesome. But still not quite convincing. God I want more.

And when we were worshiping, one of the leaders said,

"You may be in the desert,
looking at the ground and only find one set of footprints,
but remember, it's not your footprints,
it's Jesus who carries you and all your burdens,
he will walk you through the desert."

OK. Fine. God. I know how much you love me. But I'm not worth of all these... Tears, twice.

Just before the session began, Danny said to all of us, that God wants us to know His grace is enough for us. What is grace? Grace means no matter how you look, what you did, God will still love you for who you are. You don't need to change to be a good person only God can love you. Because He loves us just the way we are.

True enough. I don't doubt God anymore. Tears, thrice.

It sounds too religious. Yes. But that's because how I find peace in Him today. How are you gonna take away some stress when you tried and tried so many ways. Some people may ask, why read the Bible. Because when you seem to have reach the end of the road and there is no more answers, it answers the unanswerable questions.

For some people, religion is personal; For some, it's a guide of life; For some, it's nothing; For me, it seems to be everything.

you believe what you choose to believe, because we have free will

Good Morning, again..

Whenever I don't feel happy, I woke up very early. It's not what I wanted. I wanted to sleep more. Sleep like there is no tomorrow.

My neck is hurting, shoulders are hurting as well. Mum woke up as early as I did and she drop me a bombshell, "Rachel got 113 for TOEFL."

Then she said, "I think those people who speak English at home usually score higher marks."

Is it? But I don't care anymore.. I have too many things to do.. 3 more hours then I got to go college and finish up my MPW assignment (hopefully). And still my Philosophy assignment. No time to have fun already. But nevermind.

I should start applying for universities soon. I want to release stress but nothing seems to get that stress away. Not with playing games (give me more stress, reminds me of not doing my work). I don't know what to do. Maybe just some bitch talk with the guys. LOL.

A good start doesn't always bring a good ending

I thought I had the best day ever. Well, at least that's what i think. It's a different Friday after all. Class was ok. A very funny yet stupid mistake made by me.

Dr Chan asked, "Anyone got problem? (referring to the exercises)"
Me: "YannHuoy got problem!"
Dr Chan: "If YannHuoy got problem YannHuoy will ask me herself.."

Crap. So memalukan.. Can't blame her.. Must learn more from ThingYan already(good at blaming).

After class went to RedBox with some of my ex schoolmates. With girlfriend along. I think I did well in some of the songs. Had a kiss on my girlfriend's lips. Sweet. Sing some songs to her.

Went to futsal. A pass from the center to the left flank, and then a direct one-touch pass to the right, I was at the right and I hit a nice hard volley. It's a goal. Nice.

Reached home with some tired legs. Saw KFC on the table! Yumm...

Then Yenloo told me TOEFL results are out. My heart beats at its fastest when I logged in to my account. Was expecting something like 90-100/120. Then "pop", it's 88 babeh, which also means, "You're screwed."

I got the lowest among my friends. They got like 93,96,97,102. SIGH. How should I feel? I don't like being a loser. Well, never in my life as a winner yet. I never achieve anything.

Sometimes in the night, I think of ways to end my life. That's how serious my depression level is. But there is still reasons for me to live. My friends love me, I think. My family love me. My girlfriend loves me. And I want to take care of her. That's one of the reason to keep me breathing. I complained. I gossiped. It's not how I should behave. But sometimes I can't take it. I just can't.

The Haunt

我受了沉重的打击。。。

I did not know getting a bad result would constantly appears and pops up in my mind. It haunts me whenever I woke up, or whenever I'm asleep. Darn it. When I saw the faces of my Physics classmates, I would like, "Hey.. How's yours?" Till now, most of the answers were, "Screwed up?" Maybe I asked the wrong people?

Anyway, this is what happened. I somehow woke up 2 hours before I was supposed to. 6.30 am and the first thing in my mind was my performance in the test. Couldn't sleep well right after the thought and it took me quite some time.

I took a nap just now. Dreamt about how I begged my lecturer for marks. And I finally choose to ignore it, drop the subject, and change my major to film production.

Oh my.. This is how serious it is. I'm having a depression. SIGH. I should find some time, fixed my pc, and get along with TheSims3. :)

and for a moment, I thought I couldn't get my contact lens out. crap. that was a terrible feeling.

Confidence comes from failure?

No. I don't think so. I'm very disappointed with my Physics results. Screwed up big time. SIGH. I was confidence at one point that I actually can get above 30. But the reality was, I just barely passed. Damn. Something went wrong. Shit happens. Whenever I'm a bit confident, the result will not be that ideal somehow. I don't like the idea of getting higher marks in 2nd test..

(3 missed call) shown.

He picked up when I called.

He: How's your result?
I: I don't know. I'm still at gym. You?
He: Die la. Fail d.. Need to retake..
I: How much la? Got 30 or not?
He: Don't know la.. You check yours.. later only tell you..
I: Damn you.. Let me know la.. got 25 or not?
He: Don't know la.. Fail la..
I: OK. Call you later..

Went to Old Town. Grabbed out my phone and very quickly key in the intionline website. Waited awhile. Crap. Just passed. What the heck..

(Call...)

I: Eh.. I get 25 only la.. Fail d la.. You?
He: I get 33/40..
I: OK........
He: KaYee get 40/40!!
I: Oh.. OK la.. Shit I get damn low..

SIGH. And he's all over saying he'll fail his TOEFL again.. And we shall see how.. Result is coming out next Monday.. Do I have an issue with everyone around me? Or I just don't like some attitude of somebody? Not liking is not same with "hate". The closer I get to somebody, the more I pick on them. Is that how it suppose to be?

I just collected my contact lens. Buy 15 pairs and get 10 pairs free. LOL. But I'm not so into the mood of wearing it. Because,

(early morning during Philosophy class)

I: KT, where's your sister?
KT: In the hospital.
I: Why?
KT: She can't take out her contact lens. Her eyeballs too dry..
I: OMG..

OK. I'm just gonna wear it for some time. Occasionally.

I really wanted to go to US alone.

Throughout my years in Inti, I highly respect these 3 lecturer.

Mr Subra, my chemistry lecturer. I heard he drinks alot of coke and play dota. Even though he doesn't allow you to ask anything in the class (he thinks that you'll confuse the other students), he is a cool old dude with a lot of knowledge. A wise man.

Mr Bad, my art lecturer. He always talks about his boss and the story of his life in the first 30 minutes of every lessons. And he says that he doesn't want to waste any time, still, nags alot. But he has this incredible knowledge of art. And he actually can sketch the map of any european countries on the board.

Mr Eric, my religion and philosophy lecturer. He is very sacarstic. But I'm cool with it. He reads alot. He owns a library at his home and always brings books to recommend for the students. He looks like a nerd. I bet he once was one during his time in college.

Good Morning

I slept at 10pm on Thursday night.

I slept at 8pm yesterday.

Feel so good right now. But feel bad for myself for not being able to start on my Physics. Was supposed to wake up around 9pm yesterday but somehow the medicine was too strong and it sucked me deep into my dream. I was having a flu but it is OK now. At least I had a good sleep.

It's been 4 days without the use of Internet. Fine. I admit that I can't live without the Internet now. Damn. And when it has been fixed, my PC encounters the same old problem again. Could not start up. And I have to online using the laptop. SIGH.

A tough week ahead. Tests and assignments to be passed up. Uh-oh.